This year I feel amazing. Not the kind of amazing you feel when you’re hypomanic, but unfettered, reliably and sustainably amazing. I feel resilient, buoyant and in control. I feel like for the first year in many, I’m not going to have a hospital admission this year. I’m not going to try and kill myself, I’m not going to cut myself and I’m not going to engage in hypomanic spending or restless productive activity.
I’ve just returned to work 4 days a week, I’m making time to catch up with friends on weekends, I’m walking for half an hour a day and am cooking twice a day (well, having 2 meals prepared at home each day). My meds are stable, my sleep is stable, my team is stable (and amazing). It’s all (finally) working. But it’s been a long time coming. I’ve been in a deep depression for the past three years, and experienced mood swings for the 15 years before that. Read more about these experiences in other posts 😊.